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Recent Kentucky Trip


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#1 Michael Wolfe

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Posted 07 November 2007 - 05:40 PM

Hopefully this won't get bounced too quickly. I know some of you have heard bits and pieces about a recent trip to Kentucky that invovled sagitta, sheriffs and shine... well here is the real story of...

How Riverslick kidnapped the Bride...

Riverslick and the Bride
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

#2 Guest_teleost_*

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Posted 07 November 2007 - 05:51 PM

What do you mean "bounced"?

Thanks for posting by the way. The part of the story I missed.

#3 Guest_daveneely_*

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Posted 07 November 2007 - 07:55 PM

Somewhere, deep underground, the dusty old bones of Stephen Foster groaned just a bit...

but thanks for sharing. Heck of a story, and a heck of a telling of it.

Cheers,
Dave

#4 Guest_fundulus_*

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Posted 07 November 2007 - 10:00 PM

That's better than the drunk, naked Santa Claus we met at the Conasauga some years back. He only had Bud, no white lightning.

#5 Guest_dafrimpster_*

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 10:14 AM

Excellent read!!

#6 Guest_troutperch beeman_*

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 03:44 PM

Very entertaining story!!!

#7 Michael Wolfe

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 08:44 PM

Just expressing my fear of the moderators considering how off topic this was... apparently the mention of E. sagitta, and the fact that nearly all the named participants are NANFA (and list) members was enough to keep it considered to be on topic enough.

What do you mean "bounced"?

Thanks for posting by the way. The part of the story I missed.


Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

#8 Michael Wolfe

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Posted 08 November 2007 - 08:47 PM

Well, the chorus came to Riverslick (AKA Ed Scott) almost fully formed... sprang right form his forehead like Greek Mythology... so I can blame him for the initial inspiration... but the versus are all my fault... once he got me started, I just couldn't resist...

Somewhere, deep underground, the dusty old bones of Stephen Foster groaned just a bit...

but thanks for sharing. Heck of a story, and a heck of a telling of it.

Cheers,
Dave


Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

#9 Guest_Irate Mormon_*

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Posted 13 November 2007 - 07:11 PM

Good story! It's spelled "wont", BTW.

#10 Guest_farmertodd_*

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Posted 13 November 2007 - 09:02 PM

Just expressing my fear of the moderators considering how off topic this was... apparently the mention of E. sagitta, and the fact that nearly all the named participants are NANFA (and list) members was enough to keep it considered to be on topic enough.


Well, here, this'll make it more pertinent :)

arrow.jpg

Sorry for the crappy pic... Had to take it in the dark and just flash it and hope.

Also, you might consider that the Snorkelmeister says he didn't so much "talk" the fish into the bag, as he had "prayed" it there. I believe his feelings were more of divine intervention, rather than his quick rapport building with the fishes :)

Great way to tell the story, though, Michael. I really enjoyed it. Erika put out her version of events the same day you contacted me telling me it was up here. I guess the planets were just aligned.

Dave, great to see you back somewhere in civilization :) Really wish you could have been there this last week for SFC. We made another Riverslick, Snorkelmeister and Farmer adventure after the event (including a good ol' down home Dead Animal Party tm :) ). That all soon to come as I get caught up. I think I'll throw some of the fishes pictures up on the board in the meantime, wet everyone's whistle.

Todd

#11 Michael Wolfe

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Posted 13 November 2007 - 10:01 PM

So Todd, where is Erika's version... is there a link?

Great way to tell the story, though, Michael. I really enjoyed it. Erika put out her version of events the same day you contacted me telling me it was up here. I guess the planets were just aligned.

Todd


Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin

#12 Guest_Casper Cox_*

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 12:24 PM

i tell you what...
we just keep having better and better adventures!
last weekend 55 species at 5 sites and tasted 7. a comet, clear skies, hush puppies and no rangers.
tho the season is over for home state snorkeling im already getting jumpy for a late winter run to the florida springs.
im gonna seine up some more redfin pickeral for the porkchop oil.
:)
michael that story and song are a blast. your a master of story telling. i submit! do i ever regret not turning right instead of left... you bet! we thought yall were headed the long way back to camp. next spring i plan on rooster scratch's bus being my home base while filming the arrows doing the vibro shuffle dance. im gonna trade bob a banner for a week of lodging, vegetables and spring water.
:)
casper

#13 Guest_farmertodd_*

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 01:45 PM

Here's The Bride's version with the full version of The Ballad of the Cumberland Darter...

We had a great camping trip and I am sorry you all werent able to be there with us. We did a lot of hiking and fish stuff and sitting around the fire and looking at stars. We had absolutely beautiful weather, and all of this wouldnt have been worth really mentioning to you until Monday of that week. That's because it was really your standard camping trip until that day. Except for the boys getting busted by the law for not having liscenses, but that is a different story and if you want to hear about it, ask Todd. He will get all fired up for you :)

I am going to give you the list of people involved here so I dont have to keep interrupting the story to explain who everyone is:

By monday the people left were:
Melanie--friend from toledo
Matt--friend from toledo
Gwen--friend from toledo living in Alabama
Zack--gwen's hunk o' burnin' love
Maria--friend from toledo
Ed--Tennissee Valley Authority Ichthiologist, and friend of Todd
Casper--friend from Chattenooga
Michael--friend of Todd's from Atlanta
Me
Todd

So monday morning started out like all the other days of our trip, where we got up around 8, got breakfast on around 9, ate at about 10 and got going around 11. The guys were intersted in going to a spot on the river to snorkel and there seemed like there might be enough water there for Maria and Mel to put in their boats, so we all headed down there.

Once we got there Mel and I decided we didnt really want do do much of anything, so we got our chairs put them on the boardwalk with Mel's cooler and started drinking beers and watching the guys snorkel. Mel still had a few left she felt it would be a shame to take back home with her. No one knew we were drinking until much later in the day. We were sneaky. Especially when the ranger came by:)

By three it was time for Mel and Matt to go back to Toledo, and I decided since I hadn't really hung out with todd all weekend that I would go with him, Casper, Michael and Ed to whereever they were going to get some fish. They were after the elusive Arrow Darter. So we piled in Casper's van and Ed's VW Westie and headed into the tennissee hills.

After three unsucessful stops and a run in with a very suspicious local couple, we finally got to a stream with some promise. Casper thought this wasn't the right spot so he hopped in his van and drove up the hill while we played in the stream. Ed had grabbed the seine from his van and I decided to give him a hand and we did some seining and came up with what we had been looking for--an Arrow Darter. Ed even made up a song to the tune of "Oh Susanna." Here is the chorus:

No Susanae, we did not catch that fish
But we caught an Arrow darter and a couple of Notropis

For those who are not of the native fish world--Susanae is a darter species name, and I believe Notropis is one of the shiners or maybe a creek chub, but I am not of the fish world, so I don't remember.

At any rate, as Ed and I came back to where we had parked the cars, with Ed singing, we found Michael waiting for us, but no Todd or Casper. Appearantly Casper had come back, practically dragged Todd out of the stream and took off up the hill in his van. He had found his spot. So Michael, Ed and I got in Ed's van and started up the hill after them. Meanwhile we had our fish in a ziplock bag so we could show everyone.

About a mile up the road we finally saw Todd in the steam down below and then the van parked on the side of the road. We went down to Todd, but Casper had taken off faster than we all thought possible and he was no where to be found. At this point it was starting to get dark and we were in a pretty rocky gorge, so we started walking back to the cars. When we got the the cars, we see Casper, with his snorkel still on his head, walking up the hill with a bag of water. Yes, Casper had caught his fish, and in a zip-lock bag at that! Here is a picture of what this fish looks like, taken by Uland, on of the other folks on our trip, who unfortunately had to go home before this adventure occured.

http://gallery.nanfa...er _1_.jpg.html

Continuing on...
Casper is not one to let a good story get in the way of the truth, so he began to tell us how he caught this fish in the bag. It involved a lot of praying it seemed. As he is telling of this tremendous feat, a tractor started coming up the hill toward us. As it gets closer we saw that the driver was an older man with a long gray beard and a rather large belly, with his button down shirt completely unbuttoned, and a little dog poking its head out from under the shirt, standing on the man's belly.

Considering our earlier dubious experience with the locals, I was personally not sure what to expect, but the gentleman said he had seen the cars on the side of the road and brought his tractor up in case we needed some help. At which point Casper said "No, we're fine, but even if we weren't, we've got dinner," opened his van door and pulled out a squirrel by its tail. Yes a squirrel. Out of the van. You read that correctly. It seems that on Casper's first trip up the hill he had hit a squirrel, so stopped and picked it up and put it in the van. Todd knew about this, since he had shared the passenger side with the squirrel on the second trip up the hill, but neither Michael, Ed nor I knew about it, and I about fell on the ground laughing. The man on the tractor piped in at this point adding that he had been raised on roadkill. This action of Casper appearantly elevated our status from strangers to "folks" because the tractor man proceeded to explain the he owned the bar up the road, and if we wanted, we were welcome to come on up for a drink. It was called the Rooster Scratch. We said thanks, and he continued on up the road on his tractor.

Now this is not an unusual evening so far, except for maybe the squirrel, but really, after hanging out in the south with Todd on a lot of dirt roads in the country, there was nothing extraordinary about the day so far.

But then Ed decided he wanted to go to the Rooster Scratch.

Ed said, lets go to the Rooster Scratch, we can get a drink to celebrate my retirement, and Casper said, Todd goes with me, and I said ok, so Ed, Michael and I get in Ed's van and Casper and Todd get in Casper's van. We start up the hill, they head down the hill. We thought maybe they were going to turn around and follow us, but we found out later, neither of them had heard Ed say he wanted to go to the Rooster Scratch, so they thought we were going to go up the hill to turn around and follow them.

Meanwhile, we headed up the hill to the Rooster Scratch. It was dark by now, so we were looking for any sort of lights to give a signal of civilization, but we didn't see much of anything for a couple miles. Then on our left we saw a yellow street sign that said "caution, drunks at play" and finally on our right a building with a beer sign in the window. It was actually in better shape than I thought it would be, since we were in the middle of the hills. We went inside to a fairly decent bar, pretty small, and there were about 4 people in there. Including the bartender. Ed bought us all a beer and we sat down on the benches along the wall where the tractor man was sitting with his little dog on the table next to him. The tractor man turned out to be named Bob, and he was a very interesting man. I actually didnt get to talk to him much, because right after we sat down, one of the women in the bar came over and introduced herself to me and said "you aren't from here are you?" Now mind you, I was the only person in the room with an accent, or lack there of, because both Ed and Michael are from the south. Without even asking where I was from she said "I have relatives in Ohio, so I know what y'all sound like." She then introduced me to the other woman in the bar whose name was Liz and Liz decided I was a good person to talk to because I spent the next twenty minutes hearing all about her daughters and her husband and how her daughter totaled her car (liz's) and so on. Meanwhile a woman who turned out to be Bob's wife kept walking in with half bushels of peppers. Now Ed is a gardener with a special love of peppers, so as the conversation turned to the peppers, Bob invited Michael and Ed to come back and see the pepper crop for the year. All I know is that I was being left in the main room with Liz.

They did come back and then Liz went outside for a "prayer meeting" and Ed got us all another beer. Before I managed to rejoin the guys though, Michael and Ed became "members of the club." The walls of the bar were covered with signed dollar bills, Bob reckoned about $700 worth and if you taped a dollar to the wall you became a member. Then Bob asked the barkeeper, who was his nephew I think, to bring out a bottle of "spring water."
Michael turns to me and asked me if I knew what just happened, and I said no.
Michael said "Bob just asked him to bring out some moonshine!"
I said "Moonshine! I've never had that before!"
Michael said "Dont say it that loud! He hasnt actually used the word!"
So I started whispering.
Anyway, the nephew brought out an 12 oz. Aquifina bottle and handed it to Bob.
Bob said "You know how you sample wine?" and I said "You sniff it, take a sip, swish it around and then spit it out."
Bob said "you dont spit out this stuff, honey!"
Any way, the bottle made one round, then two, and you really cant take more than a sip at a time. While it was really strong and smelled not unlike nailpolish remover, it actually tasted like good sipping tequila. Then Bob's wife sat down, and Michael and Ed start laughing about how they kidnapped the bride and were getting her drunk, and Bob's wife said "It's your Bachellorette party? We need to get you your own bottle!"
Now Michael and I are on sip 5 and 6 or 7 or 8 and I became a member of the club and somewhere in there Bob and Ed and Michael start singing :I can't help falling in love with you" to the jukebox and we decided it was probably time to get heading back to the campground since Todd and Casper didnt show up, and they may be a little worried.

We piled in to Ed's van and I insisted on the back again because I did not want to have to watch us go up and down those curvy hills. Meanwhile Ed and Michael started singing to Ed's bluegrass tapes and all I could do was laugh at what had just happened. That is pretty much how we pulled in the campground. Though I had to pee, so we passed the campsite and screeched to a halt in front of the bathrooms, I jumped out and Ed and Michael got out and talked to Todd, who based on the speed with which we entered the campground and the fact that we were all giggling, guessed correctly that we had been drinking.

We went back to the site where Casper was cooking up the squrrel and told everyone about our adventure and ended the evening in true back hills fashion by passing around the 'shine and eating squrrel for dinner.

NOw that you know the whole story, the song will make more sense, I think Michael is the author of this one:
Ballad of the Cumberland Darter

[Chorus]
No Susanae, we did not catch that fish
But we caught an Arrow darter and a couple of Notropis

The fish were no where to be found,
Our spirits began to sag.
Then Casper found sagitta
And caught him in a bag

[Chorus]

I hadn’t rained for quite a while
The creek bed was all dry
Just puddles and pools here and there
“Don’t drink it or you’ll die”

[Chorus]

We went right and they went left,
To take home that fine catch
But we had the Bride, so we headed on
Down to the Rooster Scratch

[Chorus]

Bob told us of the peppers,
His pumpkins and his corn
While the couple on the bar stools
Were lookin’ at some porn

[Chorus]

Bob gave us a ‘clear water’ drink
And we each took our turn
Corn mash and rye, so sweet and smooth
It didn’t even burn

[Chorus]

Bob says he’s a Neanderthal
But is don’t sound right to me
Cause he can cut your hair, fix your teeth,
And do minor surgery
[Chorus]

Not many fish, we had bad luck
But at least we’re not the squirrel
Well the Bride she drank so much,
I thought that she might hurl

[Chorus]

We made it back without a scratch
It’s the end now of my rhyme
I never thought that fishin’
Could be such a wild time.

#14 Guest_fundulus_*

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 03:07 PM

"I'm gonna hijack one of them big jet planes,
I'm goin' home to Tennessee!"

--Commander Cody, sometime in the early seventies

#15 Guest_Casper Cox_*

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Posted 16 November 2007 - 04:31 PM

and his lost planet airmen?

here is my trade... i wish i had an illustration instead of this processed pic of the awesome arrow.

Attached Images

  • RoosterScratch2.jpg


#16 Guest_farmertodd_*

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Posted 16 November 2007 - 07:08 PM

Much laughter has errupted in the Metal House ™!!!

We'll have to get a better pic next spring :)

Todd

#17 Guest_fundulus_*

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Posted 16 November 2007 - 07:44 PM

So Casper, will that design be made into a t-shirt? It'd be killer! Not that I want to volunteer you for a bunch of work.

#18 Guest_farmertodd_*

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 09:23 AM

Here's Riverslick's pictures from The Scratch.

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#19 Guest_teleost_*

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Posted 21 November 2007 - 11:40 AM

Here's some fish from the trip.

Etheostoma camurum Bluebreast Darter
Posted Image
Etheostoma cinereum Ashy Darter
Posted Image
Etheostoma sanguifluum Bloodfin Darter
Posted Image
Erimystax dissimilis Streamline Chub
Posted Image
Notropis ariommus Popeye Shiner
Posted Image
Notropis telescopus Telescope Shiner
Posted Image

#20 Guest_fundulus_*

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Posted 21 November 2007 - 02:32 PM

Uland, I'm impressed, you guys found both popeye and telescope shiners. Were they from the same place, or different streams?



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